Saturday I was doing a five mile run and decided to load up my iPod with some new music. Almost as an afterthought, I put on a song by Hillary Weeks called "Come Take Your Place." (Thank you, thank you Jennie for giving me the Time Out for Women CD.) It isn't exactly fast-paced running music, however.
As I was pushing through at about mile 4.5 the song came on. Saturday's run had been very introspective and I had spent a lot of time thinking about where I'm going (I mean besides no where very quickly on my treadmill) and what I'm doing with my life. A was playing in the playroom next to me and I could see him coming in and out building things and, of course, crashing them down. As I listened to this song and watched my son, I felt overwhelmed with gratitude for the place I am right now in my life. I was meant to be here, now. I was meant to be the mother of these beautiful boys. I was meant to stand with my amazing, loving husband. This is my place, even that part where I teach occasionally unruly six, seven, and eight-year-old primary kids. I have no regrets about passing on grad or law school (for the time being). I have no regrets leaving a career I enjoyed to choose to be a full-time, stay-at-home mother. If anything I appreciate those choices more because I MADE the choice. I understand there are certain expectation as women of faith and I understand that I must find that path through my own faith and prayers. I have much to do and much to live up to.
So here's me, crying my eyes out as I'm touched by this song and suddenly I realize, "I'm running five miles an hour and, wait a second. I can't breath!" I was literally hyperventilating. That is not a good feeling. So I'm trying to get a hold of my self, because, silly me thinks, "But I'm not to five miles yet!" Eventually I got my emotions under control and could breath and of course, what did I do? I played the song AGAIN! Hyperventilating part II. Luckily I was a bit more prepared and quickly got my emotions in check. No passing out. No falling of the treadmill.
All in all, it was very worth the few tense moments of breathlessness to be remided how specific Heavenly Father's plan is for me and how I'm doing just fine because I'm exactly where I'm supposed to be.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
3 comments:
love that. thanks for sharing.
Our family LOVES that song! It was the theme song for our ward pioneer trek last summer. Every time I listen to it I feel the same way! Thanks for sharing...and thanks for reminding me that listening to great music on the treadmill can sometimes backfire!!
Looks like I need to find that song. I am always in the market for a good grounding and inspiring song.
Post a Comment