Teenage boys are beyond me. On Friday I took my early morning seminary class to go rock climbing after they worked on a goal to memorize a certain number of scripture mastery scriptures. There were three carloads of kids, and somehow I ended up with ALL the boys. They are generally nice, polite boys who are also very diverse in interests and tastes. On the way home, one of the boys asked me what dating was like in my ward growing up. That launched into a sort of wild discussion about dances and girls and asking a girl out and a whole host of things I promised I would keep within the confines of my car. However, I thought about what I would want MY three boys to know about dating when the time comes.
First thing, follow the For the Strength of Youth pamphlet produced by the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. It will never steer you wrong. Be committed to waiting to date until you are 16. I read in a human development book that people typically believe they are ready, in their own minds, to marry four years after they begin dating. Spot on. Also, the advise to group date before your mission is sound counsel. It is so much more fun and so much less akward. Besides, if it turns out things aren't going so well with your date, there are plenty of other people you can interact with. Which leads me to the second thing.
Two, be as polite as humanly possible. To every. single.girl. You don't have to marry her, but she is a daughter of God! Royalty. Treat her with that kind of respect. I remember seeing my dad always open the car door for my mom everywhere we went, even just in the garage after we got home from church. My good husband is that kind of guy, too. Open the door on the way into buildings. Offer to let her go first if you are waiting in line for something. And never hesitate to say "please" and "thank you."
Third, speak highly of the girls you know. If there is one who's company you don't care to keep for one reason or another, don't dog on her. I promised the boys in my car last week that for every negative thing they could say (to their credit they didn't really say anything specific), I could say at least ten positive things. If you look for goodness, you will find it. One of my favorite scritpures is from the Doctrine and Covenants about how "light cleaveth unto light."
Fourth, while you don't have to marry this particular girl you are taking out, you will eventually marry the girl you are taking out. Please try to use good judgement when making friends and asking girls out. People of high standards will respect other people with high standards. But do have fun and don't worry early on so much about whether or not this girl is the one when you don't even have a driver's licence.
Fifth. have fun and try new things. You'll get to learn so much about you and your friends. My brother-in-law, Josh, and I call this high efficency dating. Do some sort of extreme things and that quickly weeds out those that aren't interested. This can be things like rock climbing, or hiking or offering to babysit your rowdy siblings or cook something.
Last, don't feel obligated to date and date and date, especially before your mission. Make friends. Learn to enjoy a good conversation. It's okay to feel shy. It's okay to have lots of friends, both girls and guys. After you return from your mission, you'll have the chance to date for friendship and to eventually find an eternal companion. But, heck, have fun and don't rush it.
Did I say "have fun" enough? Those are my first off the top of my brain thoughts of dating. Dating can be a blast and a bust. But either way, learn from it and enjoy it and great things will happen. I'll look for the old LDS film called the Phone Call and that will really get your palms sweating.
No comments:
Post a Comment